Saturday, January 26, 2013

How Making Friends Is Like Dating

Remember how easy it was a kid to make friends?  It was as simple as introducing yourself and asking them to play. All that was required was that you met someone who would play with you. And the risk of rejection was super low, like zero.

Let me give you an example.

My friend, Sarah, and I have been friends since we were age 4.  We met when she moved in across the street.

It went something like this:

Me: Hi. I'm Michelle. What's your name?

Sarah: I'm Sarah.

Me: Want to ride bikes?

Sarah: Okay.

*Jump on bikes. Ride off into the sunset. Instant best friends.*

As an adult, it is a bit more difficult. 

We are all too aware of our likes, dislikes, insecurities, and annoyances.  So, it requires a bit more than having someone who will play with you. (Even though, I still consider that a requirement. If by play, you mean go out for dinner and drinks, then see a chick flick.)

I have a set of a few core girlfriends. (You know who you are!) But, you can never have too many friends, am I right?!

I bring this up because we have new neighbors down the street from us. They are our age with two young kids almost the same ages as ours. The mom is a SAHM like me and they seem like nice people. We met them over the summer while we were out for a walk, and have seen them a couple of times since.

Our neighborhood is relatively new so we have very few neighbors. We have one other couple close to our age with older kids who we adore, but no one close to our age with kids the same age.


I think she and I could be friends!  We could borrow cups of sugar! We could have play dates! Hang out and drink coffee while our kids play! Meet at the clubhouse pool!

But, how does one go about this?  I can't just approach it like I did when I was four.

I don't have her phone number so I can't call. Should I just show up at her house? Is that stalkerish? What if I bring food as a "welcome to the neighborhood"? Less stalkerish? What if I'm interrupting her kids' nap?

Also, what should I wear? Do I wear my usual staple of jeans and long sleeve t-shirt? Should I step it up a notch and do my hair and make-up? Will she know I am trying too hard?


This is like dating! Making friends as an adult is like dating. And folks, I have been out of that game for well over a decade.


Okay, maybe I am over thinking it.

I decided to make them a batch of cookies. (I made myself a batch too, because cookies.) After taking J to preschool on Thursday, I dropped them off at their house.

Here is how it went down:

*Knocking on door. Door opens.*

ME: Hi there!

Her: Hello!

Me: I made you some cookies. *Hands cookies over.* I know it's late but here is your official "Welcome To The Neighborhood".

Her: *Chuckles.* Thank you. That is so sweet.

Me: Oh it's no problem!

Her: Would you like to come in?

Me: Oh, thanks but Baby L is in the car. I just wanted to drop off the cookies and invite you and the kids over for a play date tomorrow if you don't have any plans.

Her: Oh no! I have "Mom's Day Out" tomorrow! I'm sorry.

Me: No problem.

Her: How about another day next week?

Me: Would Monday work?

Her: That sounds great!

*We exchange numbers.*

Me: Great! Come on over! The kids can play and we can drink coffee. You can stay as little or as long as you like. If you need to go early because your kid needs to nap or because you think we're weirdos, no problem! It's cool!

Her: *Laughing.* We don't think you are weirdos.

Me: Well, you say that now!

All in all, I think we are off to a great start.

I'll just remember to keep it cool. I won't give her our "BFF" bracelets until at least our second play date.


  1. Sounds just like me! It's so true how we get caught up in our insecurities. I am sure she is glad you made the effort!

    1. Thanks, Kat! You have to start somewhere. I think most people are nervous when meeting new people.

  2. I think on saw on twitter that your play date was successful? If so, that's awesome. I wish I were more outgoing and brave enough to approach my neighbor for a playdate. Maybe someday I'll get there...

    So I have a Liebster Award to pass on. I would love it if you would participate but totally understand if you choose not to. Either way, I'm still going to stalk your blog. Ha! Take care!

    1. Thanks, Carol! You are too kind.
      As for making friends, you'll get there one day. It helps to think that the other person is probably just a nervous as you! :)

  3. I'm glad you took a chance on us ;) Thanks so much for the Valentine today. The kids loved it! You guys are too sweet.

  4. Haha, half the time I feel just like that about trying to make friends. The other half of the time, I feel like all my friends positions are currently taken, and I just don't have the energy for any more. I know I didn't think like that before I had kids!

  5. It can be sooo nervewracking trying to make friends. We've moved a few times over the years, and that is the part I dread most.


Thanks for reading and commenting!