Thursday, August 28, 2014

All My Tiny Babies



*Cue the music.* "All my tiny babies! All my tiny babies! All my tiny babies!" sung to the tune of All The Single Ladies.

During the summer, looking forward to this school year, I knew I would be sad when my 5 year old started kindergarten. 

So I reminded myself that both my 3 and 5 year olds would be in school for part of the day leaving me with a few hours to myself. 

All of my babies are in school!

This will be a good thing!

I will be able to do some things for me!

Things like take a shower without an audience!

Pee with no one on my lap asking for a story!

Actually write an entire blog post!

Read from an actual book during daylight hours!

But...

I miss our conversations.

I miss their little faces.

I miss their laughter.

I miss their hugs.

I miss their curiosity.

I miss hearing their ninja or superhero sound effects.

I miss their request for one more story or one more cookie.

I miss them.

I know this is a good thing.

It will give me time to remind myself that I am more than just a mom. Time to dust off those boxes within myself labeled "friend", "writer", "volunteer".

It is the first step on the boys journeys to becoming who they are meant to be.

It is another chapter in my life rediscovering who I am meant to be.

All good things.

I'll just be sure to grab an extra hug or two when I pick them up from school.




Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Counting Crows Is More Fun Than Counting Calories



This summer has been great. We have been able to relax and enjoy each others company without having any real agenda. 

Due to our laid back approach, I may have gained a few pounds. Not a lot, mind you, but enough where my clothes are feeling extremely snug.

So, in an effort to lose some weight to fit better into my clothes and to be healthier, I have started counting calories.

For those of you who have never counted calories, let me assure you it is not fun. In fact, counting crows is more fun than counting calories. And you guys know how much I love birds.

(Side note: Does sarcasm play well on the internet?)

For those of you who have never needed to count calories because of your metabolism, who are you?! Seriously. Who are you?!

Actually, don't tell me. Because then I would plot your imminent demise and you would be unhappy and I would feel guilty. Let's forget I asked.

Anyway, I have been counting my calories for a month now and I have lost nine pounds.

Woo hoo!

Let's celebrate by eating nachos!

Wait.

I guess that counter intuitive, huh?

I have been pleased with the results and I am sticking to my guns, however it is difficult.

Why?

BECAUSE I AM SO HUNGRY.

Honestly.

I guess this is a side effect of cutting back on your intake of food. Your body is like, "FEED ME! FEED ME!" and your brain is like, "No way, fatty!"

You find yourself thinking about food A LOT. And dreaming about food. And watching food shows on TV.

The other night, Hubby and I were watching TV. First it was Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

My first thought was, "I would totally eat that."

My second thought was, "I bet that is 1000 calories."

My third thought was, "I'm actually jealous of crazy neo-blond Guy Fieri."

When it got to be too much, I turned it to the Travel Channel only to find Andrew Zimmern in Bizarre Foods was on.

Now, I'm so hungry that I look at what he's eating and think, "I bet that sheep's brain wouldn't be too bad with some butter and garlic."

YOU GUYS WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Let this be a warning to all of those who may encounter me while I'm out-and-about, don't stand too close. I may bite.

Does anyone have any fava beans?

Kidding! Kidding!

Sort of.


Friday, August 15, 2014

Just Living The Dream


When I'm out-and-about and people ask me how I'm doing, I usually respond, "Just living the dream."

You can usually tell a lot about people by their reaction to my response.

Some will chuckle and reply, "Me too." Or "I know, right!" This is a good indicator that these people have a sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously.

Others will purse their lips as if they swallowed something sour and give me a look that says, "Clearly that was not funny at all." This is a good indicator that these people do NOT have a sense of humor.

Okay.

So, when I answer, I sometimes say it with a little snarkiness. (Okay, a lot of snarkiness!) Or maybe some sassiness.

But here's the thing.

I AM living the dream.

At least, it's my dream.

For the longest time, I prayed God would send me an honorable, hard-working, kind, funny man to share my life with.

For what seemed like forever, I prayed I would be able to get pregnant and have children of my own who were the best parts of me and my husband.

And now I have that.

I have a great husband and two amazing kids. I am able to stay-at-home with my boys for the first years of their life. I live in my dream home. I am more than blessed.

Yep, just living the dream.

WAIT! 

Don't go anywhere!!

Not everything is unicorns and rainbows. I don't float around with a trail of glitter in my wake. I'm not going to bust out into song or anything.

Because I still have lots of days of uncertainty, self-doubt and mommy guilt. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder if I could have been a better mom, wife, daughter or friend. My old nemesis anxiety tries to climb back into bed with me.

But here's the thing.

When I find myself having some of these thoughts, I remind myself of my many wonderful blessings. I remind myself I have the love of my amazing, little family. I remind myself that tomorrow is another day to be the best version of myself I can be.

Because even on my worst day, I have more blessings than I can count and definitely more than I deserve.

It sure helps put things into perspective.

So, yeah. 

I'm just living the dream.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

What My Kids Are Reading #4

The boys and I love going to the local bookstore close to our house. It is situated right beside a large pond that houses a billion ducks. (Okay, not exactly a billion, but close.) We come armed with our bread to feed them which is always an adventure.

After feeding the ducks, we head inside the bookstore to check out any new books they may have as well as to take a look at all of their cool toy displays.

This book was among many others on a table that was featuring fun at the beach. Since the boys had such a great time at the beach this year, I decided to grab this book for them.



This book is about Fergus and his baby brother, Dink, who go searching for treasure on the beach. And the best treasure they find is a surfboard they name 'Dave'.

Fergus doesn't want to ride the surfboard because of the 'lurking, irking ickiness factor of the water'. But things happen and Fergus does end up on the surfboard where he discovers he likes surfing and being in the water.

My boys love this book because of the funny faces the characters make and because they are both brothers.

I love this book because it is about facing your fears and overcoming them.

This is a cute read for any kid who loves the beach or the water or just a fun story.

Happy Reading!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

My Life Is Changing

To make a long story short, my five year old is starting kindergarten.

To make a short story shorter, he starts this coming week.

You see, there is no one in this world who loves him more than his daddy and me.

When I got pregnant, I thought I understood what it would mean to be a parent. I thought I was prepared for how it would make me feel.

I had no idea.

I had no idea how much love I was really capable of or how full my heart could really be. I had no idea how being a mother could change my life in such wonderful, profound ways and helped complete a part of me I never knew was missing.

I love you and your brother so much that it really cannot be put into words.

Five years has gone by in the blink of an eye.

Five years of you, me and your little brother each day.

We have had so many experiences, so much laughter and so much joy.

And now you are headed off to kindergarten.

You are going where I cannot go.

You are going to be on your own, making your own decisions and being influenced by others.

To say this is a little scary for mommy would be putting it mildly.

Will mommy be attending the Boo Hoo Breakfast after dropping you off on your first day? You know it. Will mommy put on a brave face for you? Absolutely. Will I need lots of tissues and Starbucks to get me through the day? Undoubtedly.

My kindhearted, compassionate, creative, intelligent little boy.

I believe you are ready.

As for me, I am not sure. But I guess I'll have to be.

My life is changing.

I wish I could slow things down and keep you with me for a little while longer. I wish I could freeze time and keep the four of us in our own little world for just a little while.

But I also know it is time to spread your wings a little. Give you room to begin your own journey on the road to becoming the person that you are meant to be.

I'll be here whenever you need me. I'll be waiting with open arms, lots of kisses and some peanut butter jelly sandwiches.