How I Know I'm Not A Fairy Princess

O Disney, my Disney!

O Dreamworks, my Dreamworks!

You have deftly weaved some beautiful stories.  Tales of magical places where animals and cups come to life.  Stories of large, sweeping castles with a handsome prince and a helpful fairy godmother. Sagas about brave women and men who are trying to do the right thing in the face of many obstacles.

(Granted some of the time your tales are messed up because you start the story by offing a parent which is really sick and twisted. But let's not focus on that part now, shall we?!)

Every now and then, I will let my mind wonder and imagine I am in one of those entertaining, fun loving fairy tales.  And for a few minutes, it is lovely.

Then, I am snapped out of my reverie as Baby L clings to my leg screaming "Mommy" and J keeps asking to pay with the iPad. *Sigh.*

But aside from these two beautiful, crazy kids, there are several reasons how I know I'm not a fairy princess.

• My friends are not talkative woodland creatures or a witty ogre. My little friends are the homemade kind, as in ones that Hubby and I made ourselves. Although to be fair, when I first wake-up in the morning, I do resemble an ogre.

• I don't have a fairy godmother. If I had a fairy godmother, my house would be spotless with every nook and cranny gleaming and everything put away in its rightful place. And well, let's just say my house does not look like this. If I do have a fairy godmother, that lazy wench deserves to be fired.

• My dishes and silverware do not talk. If those suckers were alive, you bet your sweet cheeks they would be in the cabinets or dishwasher immediately after being used or washed.

• I don't wear frilly dresses and a tiara everyday. Can you imagine the beauty regime and the time that would go into getting dressed everyday? It makes me want to take a nap just thinking about it. I rarely wear dresses these days but I do have this one sparkly Target top that makes me feel like royalty when I wear it.

• There is no evil stepmother or wild beast that needs to be defeated. I don't have a stepmother and the only evil beast around here is my crazy hair. I have a stepdad but he is not evil. Granted sometimes he is crabby when his knees are bothering him, but he is way far away from being evil.

• My mode of transportation is not a horse and carriage. My trusty steed is my Toyota which has about 73 toys in the backseat, along with enough petrified chicken nuggets and Goldfish to last at least two weeks.

So, these are a few of the reasons how I know I'm not a fairy princess.

But, you know what?  I'm okay with that.  

Because I like my tiny castle with two little guys and my hilarious, handsome Hubby. THEY make me feel like royalty.

I don't need a tiara or a fairy godmother for that.