Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Cram It in Your Cram Cram
I have a favorite grocery store. It rhymes with Broger's. I love this grocery.
*Cue the romantic music.*
The one closest to me is BIG and CLEAN and the people are NICE. And they have those race car carts that my boys love (not so much the adults) but the kids.
Just give me a moment.
Alas, but sometimes I have to go to the other grocery. Because my beloved favorite grocer does not have everything we love, I have to make a trip to the other one.
You know the one. I won't say the name. But let's just say it rhymes with Mall Fart. However, they do have a Neighborhood Mall Fart which isn't as bad as the ginormous Mall Fart.
So the other day, we all pack up and head to the other grocery.
Upon entering the store, we attempt to load the kids into the grocery cart. I say attempt to load them as Baby L loathes these carts because they are NOT the race car grocery carts. So Baby L decided to do his "stiff as a board" technique which is so awesome for trying to strap him in the cart.
And these are no tiny carts. These are those giant behemoth carts with the two seats facing each other at a diagonal in the front of the actual cart.
After about ten minutes of strong arming Baby L, I manage to strap him into his seat. I WIN.
But not really because he is screaming his tiny head off.
Meanwhile, J has been walking around. Picking up everything he can get his hands on, asking me about each item.
J is agreeable to getting into the cart when I ask him.
To squelch Baby L's tantrum, I quickly (or as quickly as one can with the ginormous cart that his difficult to maneuver) drive over to the bakery area. I franticly search for the donuts. I snatch up the little powdered donuts and give them to the boys.
Baby L quiets immediately as he is so happy he has his donuts. Both boys are enjoying their sugar bliss.
Moving through the store, I can now focus on my grocery list. As I move through the produce section, a guy walks up and squeezes in the small space between me and the produce aisle. All the while sighing like he's sooo exasperated.
Really dude? REALLY?
You have all this space to the left of me but you just have to squeeze in this little tiny space. I know you see me trying to steer this giant thing and all of the open twenty feet on the other side of me.
At this point, J tells me he is thirsty. I head to the dairy section, grab a chocolate milk, open it and give it to the kids to share.
After making it about halfway through the store, I pass an older couple who gives me the stink eye as I hand the kids another donut. This is like the fifth person who has given me the stink eye.
What?! You've never seen kids eating donuts and drinking chocolate milk in a store before? You think I'm not going to pay for this stuff? You think this cart is annoying? You think I shouldn't open food in the store?
Guess what lady?! My kids are happy and quiet, maybe even peaceful. This means we can focus on grocery shopping without all of the drama and maybe this time I'll actually get all of the items on my list.
PS lady, if this so called Mall Fart, gave free cookies to kids like another awesomely, fantastic grocery, I wouldn't have to bust out the donuts.
I don't think I care for your judgmental attitude lady. You can take it and CRAM IT IN YOUR CRAM CRAM.
Sorry, I got a little worked up there.
Okay, so there you have it. What a trip to the Neighborhood Mall Fart looks like with the Mossey family.
Wanna go with us next time? Come on! You know you want to.