Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'm In Training

Bet you didn't know I'm in training?

*Looks around. Whispers.* I didn't know it either.

Wait! Don't go anywhere! Yes, I am a bit crazy...okay fine! I'm a lot crazy but hear me out.

You see, everyday, I give it my all. I strive for 100%. My daily regime may give even the most disciplined athlete pause. I want to be the best - the fastest actually.

If you are a parent, chances are you are also in training to be the fastest.

"But Michelle," you say, "the fastest at what?"

In short, the fastest at EVERYTHING.

Each day, I train diligently to be the best at:

  • World's Fastest Bather
  • World's Fastest Eater
  • World's Fastest Drinker
  • World's Fastest Nose Blower
  • World's Fastest Shoe Tie-er
  • World's Fastest Pooper
  • World's Fastest Pee-er
  • World's Fastest Writer
  • World's Fastest Reader
  • World's Fastest Shopper
  • World's Fastest Dresser
  • World's Fastest Cleaner
  • World's Fastest Bill Payer
  • World's Fastest Diaper Changer
  • World's Fastest Dishwasher
  • World's Fastest Teethbrusher
I know. It is an extensive list and you marvel at my commitment and dedication to such an extreme goal of being the fastest at almost everything.

And, I'm sure many of you out there would be excellent competitors for the title of "World's Fastest".

But, just so you know, you will be going up against who takes this very seriously. (It took me 48 seconds to write this post. *Shirt pop.*)


  1. I can do it all as fast as you can!!! I can also drive fast, lose my patience fast, fly through papers fast, and whip up a frozen pizza pretty fast too. :)

    1. Holy canole! Sounds like you would give me a run for my money, Chris! Bring it! ;)

  2. Replies
    1. Yes, well, I am a person of many talents. Lots of which I do super fast bc I have someone screaming at me! Ha ha!
      Thanks for visiting!

  3. Fun! I will be going for worlds fastest duster - I hate dusting and try to do it as fast as I can - you should watch me go! ha

    1. Paula, dusting! Gah! I don't mind dusting but I cannot remember when the last time I dusted. When was the last major holiday....

  4. Lol - Yes, all us moms are in training! I really hate that I have to speed through everything sometimes though but it'll just be until they get a little bit older....right? :)

    1. Anna, YES! Moms are always doing things super fast. Hey, let's go with the idea that things will slow down when they get older. Yeah, let's stick with that. ;)


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