Are you there God? It's me, Michelle.
Well, I guess it's been a while.
See, I have been busy with these two little boys. They take up so much of my time. They want to make sure their wants and demands are met first before anyone else's. They sure are needy little people.
I don't fault them for that. They are little kids learning about life - what to say, what to do, and how to act. They are trying to discover themselves, the world and their place in it.
But I guess you know exactly how that feels.
I only have two little people and they tire me out, whereas you have the entire planet and all the people on it. I cannot even imagine.
This week has been such a difficult week. There were bombings at the Boston Marathon, a fertilizer explosion in West, TX and further damage done in Boston by the same people.
Hearing about these horrible events was surreal. These sorts of things happen in other places. They don't happen in America. This can't be a regular occurrence in America.
There were many lives lost. So many people who were injured. So many lives that will be forever changed.
My heart is so heavy. It makes me so sad to think of the families who will never see their loved ones again. It breaks my heart to hear of people who were whole one day, then lost a limb the next. It saddens me to know that there are people out there filled with so much hate that they would kill others who think differently.
I bet some people wonder how you could let these things happen. I bet some of them even wonder if you are real.
As for me, I trust you. I believe you are real. I believe you love and care for those you created. I put my faith in you.
But I'm struggling.
I'm struggling because I see these horrible events enacted by horrible people or painful errors that resulted in so many deaths. Doubt creeps in giving me pause.
You don't have to explain yourself to me. I am just one person on this giant spinning rock. And you, well, you are the Almighty. The Most High. The Alpha and The Omega. The great I Am.
So, I'm going to focus on what I know. Focus on what I believe in my heart to be true.
I believe the still small voice I hear sometimes is you speaking to my heart. I believe when I am looking for discernment as to which choice to make and it suddenly becomes clear that you are giving me a nudge in the right direction. I know these two beautiful boys you have loaned to me are the best gifts I have ever received and they make me want to be a better person. I know you are real because I see it in the arrival of Spring, in the miracles that are my children and in the kindness of strangers.
So, if it's not too much to ask, can you think of me today? Think of my family? My friends? Of America? Can you send us some of your comfort and grace? Surround us with your love?
This has been a rough week and I know we could all use it.