'Twas The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

My children were acting like lunatics. Time to call in the spouse.

The stockings were haphazardly thrown on the mantle without care,

in hopes that Santa Claus would shove some stuff in there.

Hubby and I were trying to nestle our kids in their beds

But they kept using stall tactics instead.

But, finally, me in yoga pants and Hubby in sweats from the Gap,

Hoped we could get some quiet for at least a small nap.

When downstairs in the great room, we heard a loud noise!

We thought for sure it was one of the kids' toys.

Hubby and I did rock-paper-scissors to determine who would go see.

When, lo and behold, it turned out to be me.

The light from the kitchen gave a soft glow

So I could see clearly the first floor below.

Surely I'm not seeing what I think I see!

Some joker dressed in red under my tree.

He turned right around and I punched him in the face.

He yelled, "Good night, woman! You're a nut case!"

I said, "I'm not the one breaking and entering, fat man."

Santa said, "That IS what Santa does. It's part of the plan."

I took in his red outfit, his black boots and his huge pack.

I couldn't help wondering 'Does he have a bad back?'.

I said, "You don't look so good, old man. Here, have a seat."

Sighing, he said, "Going around the world in one night is no easy feat."

Running a hand over my face and sitting at the table,

I thought, "Am I really talking to Santa? I must be unstable."

I said, "Rest a minute, Santa. I'll pour you a glass of whatever we've got."

Santa said, "Do you have Corona Lite? I like that a lot."

We sat at the table. We sat there we two.

And we clinked our beer glasses and chugged down our brew.

I asked, "Santa, how do you do it each year?"

He chuckled and said, "Well, it can be tough when many people are without cheer."

I said, "So many people are grumpy, hateful, and downright mean."

Santa said, "Oh my dear! Some of which the likes you have never seen."

I said, "I take it you've seen some pretty horrible stuff."

He paused, then said, "Yes, I have. I have seen mankind act pretty rough."

Swirling the last of my beer in my glass,

I looked at Santa and dared to ask, "How can you do it with so many on the naughty list?"

Santa smiled at me and playfully hit my shoulder with his fist.

He said, "Because as long as there is at least one person in this world who cares about others,

I know there is hope for our daughters, sons, fathers and mothers."

This time, I looked, really looked at this old man in front of me.

My heart realized what it was that I see.

Santa wasn't merely a jolly old elf.

He was the best part of each person, the good inside of our self.

Smiling, I said, "Wow. You are not at all what I thought."

Chuckling, he said, "Yeah. I get that a lot."

I told him, "Next time, I won't punch you in the face."

He shrugged and said, "Well, at least it wasn't mace."

Santa picked up his pack and flung it over his shoulder.

Turning to look at me, he said, "Don't worry. You get wiser as you get older."

He continued saying, "Remember to look in your heart for what you know to be right.

And, mostly importantly, hold your husband and your children real tight."

Before I knew what I was doing, I gave Santa a hug.

He patted my head and told me, "And here, you thought I was a thug."

Opening the front door, I said, "Glad you stopped by."

Saluting me, Santa said, "I'm off!" and he took to the sky.

I watched as he jumped in the sleigh and took flight.

Wondering, 'Exactly how much beer did I have tonight?'

I heard Santa exclaim as he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"