Sunday, July 1, 2012

I Am Going To Axe Kick My Doctor In The Face

When I was pregnant with J, I was scheduled to be induced on a Friday night. After having the "gel", then 24 hours on Pitocin and three attempts to break my water, we finally see some action! (My cervix was all, "Heck no, I won't go!") 

Within an hour of breaking my water, I have dilated to 6cm and I am telling anyone who will listen that I need an epidural STAT.  After epidural, I rest some, then around 4am Sunday, I have finally dilated to 10cm and I can start to push!  (Hooray!  Let's do this thing!) I am so ready to see my sweet baby's face!


After pushing for an hour, Dr. V (no joke) says he wants me to rest and turns off the epidural.  He says he wants me to be able to feel it. (Huh? Say what?!) I am so delirious and exhausted at this point I don't realize what is going on. So I am like, "Fine. Whatever."  So I rest for about 40 minutes, then I start to hurt.  Like BIG TIME HURT.  Like nothing I've ever felt before hurt. Dr. V and nurse decide now is the perfect time to try pushing again.  So, I push and push and PUSH.  Cheese and biscuits! It hurts so freaking much!

I stop for a rest.  Dr. V says he is worried about J's heartbeat as it goes down each time I push and this can be a sign the cord is wrapped around his neck.  I am really worried now.  Dr. V also says I am exhausted so he thinks it best to do a c-section.  I am so stinking tired now - beyond exhausted is putting it mildly.  Get my sweet baby boy out and make sure he is alright!

Now, I am exhausted, worried, and scared.  I am struggling to stay awake. There are a lot of things happening around me as they prep me for my surgery.  But, I am alert enough to hear Dr. V say to the nurse, "She has really small hips anyway."

WHAT THE WHAT?! EXCUSE ME?! I have been your patient for close to 10 months and you are just NOW saying I have "small hips".  News flash!!  You have known this the WHOLE TIME!  If I could feel my legs, I would axe kick you in the face!

So, to make a long story short, I had quite an epic adventure in the arrival of J, and he turned out to be a beautiful, healthy baby boy.


Though at the end of it all, if I could have, I would have axe kicked my doctor in the face. 


read to be read at yeahwrite.me

21 comments:

  1. I assume you had a new dr with L?!

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    1. Shari, YES! I had a different doctor with my second, sweet baby L! ;)
      Hope you are enjoying your visit with your niece!

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  2. Seriously? He turned off your epidural? I would have used the feeling back in my legs to walk out of there and find a new doc...after axe kicking him of course! That's just crazy!

    As I walked into the hospital in labor with Babe I was already asking for an epidural from anyone that passed. That janitor sure did give me a funny look.

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    1. You said it, sister. He was a nut! I went with another doctor with my second pregnancy. Whew!
      LOL, the janitor gave you a funny look! Hilarious!

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  3. Michelle, thank God little J is beautiful and healthy! I bit my lips reading your post ;)

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    1. Jamiey, yes, little man turned out perfectly. Whew! It was quite the drama. Second one was MUCH less dramatic. Thank goodness!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  4. Oh girl, I'm sorry. I had a eerily similar birth w/my 1St. I'm sorry you had to go thru that. I would kicked his ass too.

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    1. Thanks Jae! You can feel my pain - literally! My second delivery was much less traumatic. Hopefully for you too?!
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  5. Lol, I have ever heard the phrase "cheese and biscuits" haha I may need to use that very soon!

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    1. Laurel, you come up with creative things to say instead of curse words once you have kids. Here's another for you. If someone is getting on your nerves, tell them to "cram it in their cram cram". ;)
      Thanks for visiting!

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  6. Well, at least he had good bedside manner. Oh wait. Nope. Glad you did not have any complications and that you were able to find a new doctor!

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    1. Yes, I am glad I found a great doctor for baby #2!
      Thanks for stopping by for a visit! :)

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  7. Yeah, I would have wanted to axe kick him in the face, too!! That is some serious crazy. And turning down the epidural...are you kidding me?!
    Haha...cheese and biscuits...love that. :)

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    1. Heidi, I know! My sentiments exactly!
      When you have kids, you get creative in how you express your anger since they are little sponges!
      Thanks for visiting!

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  8. Heh! After the birth of my son, which was *quite* painful,this conversation happened:
    Mum: "oh, that was easy!".
    I incredulously look at her, my look conveyed the following: "No it wasn't, I pushed a big old baby out of my little tiny vagina!".
    Mum: Missy, that was an easy birth!
    She then launches into one of those heart warming tales about helping her friend through a home birth and blood and guts and screaming and almost death etc etc etc.
    I give her an eyeroll that says "Well, she shouldn't have been a hippie and had the kid at home".
    Mum pats me on the head.

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    1. Bridgette, oh dear! I bet your mom was trying to be supportive but I am sure you were like "Mom! Be quiet! THIS was a big deal to me!" in your head.
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  9. Yeah, you'd think that was something they would've taken notice of a while ago! Ha!

    (Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny a couple of weeks ago!)

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  10. And this man has been an OB for how long? Geez Louise..kinda hope he isn't one any longer. TO not have "noticed" anything about you during that time period and then to make you and little man go through all of that and THEN do a C-section..well..I think I would have axed him in the face and a few other places to boot!!

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  11. I had my first naturally, and he almost got stuck (she had to turn him to get him out) due to the fact that he was so broad shouldered (he wasn't even 7 lbs). My 2nd wouldn't even drop into position because he was broader shouldered yet (and he wasn't even 7 lbs either), so I had him via C-section. My last one, my little girl, was a recommended C-section...and guess what? She wasn't so broad, and I could've had her naturally (I was told I have "Mommy hips" (i.e. plenty of room)). Go figure!

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  12. You are a great story teller. I felt like I was in the delivery room. I had both my kids without pain meds, so I know your pain. I would've axe kicked him for you.lol. Great post

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  13. It seems like there is always an adventure with the first one!

    I can't believe they had you push for so long & then took you off the epidural-OUCH!!!!

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Thanks for reading and commenting!