Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Why Yes That Is My Bikini Top Floating In The Ocean



Every year growing up, we would take a summer vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. Dad, my brother, C, and I would all pack-up and head south to the beach.  We always had a great time with days spent laying at the pool, walking on the beach and playing putt-putt golf.

One year in particular stands out.  This particular year, I was sixteen.  I felt sassy and bold. And I had this fabulous leopard print bikini.  I mean it was FABULOUS. It was safe to say that I was rocking that bikini. 

So, on one of these fun summer beach days, after laying at the pool for most of the morning, Dad, C and I decided we would go for a walk on the beach.

All three of us leave the pool, walk down the deck to the beach and begin our leisurely stroll.  I am enjoying walking with my feet in the ocean, feeling the wind in my hair and smelling the salty ocean air.  I am feeling good and confident in my new cute bikini.

After we have walked about a two miles or so, I pause to look out at the ocean and take it all in when I notice a beautiful shell laying in the sand. I bend down to pick up the shell and as I stand back up I notice something in the water. I think that looks like...oh cheese and biscuits! It's my bikini top floating in the water!!  Holy crap on a cracker!

I scramble forward to grab my top and throw it around my girls but this has not gone unnoticed.  The boys volleyball game behind me comes to a halt and they are all whooping and hollering.  Just let me crawl in a hole somewhere.

Frantically, I look around and find my Dad and brother walking ahead of me oblivious to my humiliation.  I scamper up to them and say, "Um, guys, we need to head back to the hotel. RIGHT. NOW. My bikini top is broken."  As I tell them this, I am holding my bikini top in front and in back.  Oh yeah.  I'm rocking that bikini now.

Right now, you may be thinking, "Why didn't her Dad or brother offer her their shirt?" And the answer is, "They didn't wear a shirt."  Why?  Well, because it makes good sense when you don't tan and only turn varying shades of red to not wear a shirt when going for an hour walk on the beach. Obviously.

So, my Dad says, "Let me take a look at it."  Like he can MacGyver fix my bathing suit with a grain of sand and a sea shell. I am going to die from embarrassment.

I say, "Dad, let's just go!" and stomp off back down the beach towards our hotel. Trying to muster enough courage to get down the beach and back to the hotel.

Once back in the hotel room, I loudly declare, "That's it! I am not wearing a bathing suit the rest of the time!!"

Turns out the clasp in the back of my bikini top broke.  And I guess to be fair, I was wearing a strapless bikini top which I should have known wouldn't really be able to support all of my, um, assets. Ahem.

Dad took some dental floss and "fixed" the clasp problem on my bikini. Super classy, Dad.  I did end up wearing the bikini again that trip but only with a shirt.  

That was the last time I ever wore a bikini.  

RIP sassy leopard print bikini. RIP.


read to be read at yeahwrite.me

29 comments:

  1. Haha! Love. I too have rocked a bikini only to have the top come off while watersliding. That was just awesome.

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    1. Heidi, so you feel my pain! Whew. It is super embarrassing to put it mildly.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. Michelle, Just a hilarious story. The whole rocking the bikini, how often have I been on vacation thinking everything was fine only to find my bikini top floating in the ocean. Thanks for the great laugh.

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    1. Once was all it took for me! Peace out, bikini! I'll stick to the one piece!
      Thanks for visiting!

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  3. Hahha how mortifying. Hey, at least its funny now, right?

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    1. Oh dear Gia, mortifying is definitely the right adjective! Yep, it's funny NOW, but it wasn't then. Yikes.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. hahha love the Macguyver reference!

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    1. Who doesn't love a little MacGuyver?! Thanks for stopping by, Robbie! :)

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  5. Is there any other kind of bikini than a malfunctioning bikini?? I've definitely had a few of those in my lifetime. Very funny post!

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    1. Sister, I think you hit the nail on the head with that one. Bikinis are sneaky little suckers! Glad you got a chuckle! :)
      Thanks for visiting!

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  6. Haha! Loved your story. Anything about wardrobe malfunctions is totally up my alley. :-)

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    1. Thanks Pippi! As for wardrobe malfunctions, if I had a dollar for every time it has happened to me, well, I'd have about twenty dollars. But still! ;)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. My grandparents used to live not far from Myrtle Beach, and we'd visit every year. Oooh, what a horrible place for that to happen! Very funny story!

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    1. Yeah! Another Myrtle Beach lover! Such a fun place, especially for kids. Yep, it was a horrible place for it to happen. But really, where is a GOOD place to lose your bikini top? ;)
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  8. Oh dear God that sucks! That is my biggest bathing suit fear! I won't even wear a swim suit unless it has a racer back for just that reason! :-)

    RIP Leopard print bikini!

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    1. You have a very valid fear!! I will be sticking to one pieces from here on out!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  9. Oh those embarrassing moments - mortifying at the time but so funny afterwards. That was a good one.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Stephanie! :)

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  10. Oh no! I would have been so mad at that bikini! Ha ha and your dad saved the day LOL. Thanks for stopping by my blog from SITS!

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    1. Natalie, to say I was angry and embarrassed would be putting it mildly! ;) Ah well. It makes for a good story anyway!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  11. Thank goodness you noticed right away! Just think if you'd tried to continue walking down the beach!

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    1. Megan, oh the horror! If I'd walked down the beach without noticing, well, I'd need some serious therapy for sure!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

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    1. No fun, is it Eva?! Yikes!
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  13. Haha I just bought one of those! Looks good on top but I can't get out of the water because it's too small for my muffin top fat butt on the bottom.

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    1. Bathing suit shopping (and wearing) is the worst! ;)
      Thanks for visiting!

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  14. I'd never wear a tiny bikini because my boobs are too small to hold the top ON, let alone down. I'm all for topless, however.

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    1. Kristin, then you are far braver than I!!
      Thanks for stopping by!

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Thanks for reading and commenting!