Monday, June 18, 2012

Good Thing I'm Not Thin Skinned

Relaxed.

Rested.

Peaceful.

I woke up this morning in my own bed.  I awoke of my own accord.  I felt calm and happy.  Glad to be back home from vacation.  Savoring my early morning moments before the little guys get up.

Can you picture it?  It was blissful. *Sigh.*

After about five minutes to myself, J opens the bedroom door.  He greets me with a smile and a, "Good morning, mama!"  J climbs into bed with me for a snuggle.

Pretty great stuff, no?

After a minute or two, out of the blue, J turns to me and says, "Welcome to my world! Punch world!", then punches me in the face.

Holy guacamole!  Did that baby just punch me in the face?!  Why, yes.  Yes, he did. (Now, it was not a hard punch but STILL. It was IN THE FACE.)

While stifling a laugh, I grab his little fist and say, "J, we don't punch people.  That hurts people. Do you understand?" J sweetly says, "Yes, I understand. Sorry, mama."

Now, I can hear sweet baby L chirping in his room so I go get him out of bed and we all troop downstairs.

I make the boys their chocolate milks, then get to work making myself a cup of coffee.  While I am waiting on the coffee, J walks over to me and says, "Whoa, mama!  Your hair is crazy!"  (Now, the kid is talking about my hair?!)

Because I am not caffeinated yet, I ask for clarification, "What did you say?"

J repeats, "Whoa, mama! Your hair is crazy!"

So I have been punched in the face, then told my hair is crazy.  All before I have even had my coffee.  Awesome.

After breakfast, we have a couple of errands to run.  We get dressed and head out to the car.  Once everyone is strapped in, we are off like a herd of turtles!

Pulling out of the driveway, while playing with his truck in the backseat, I hear J say, "Larry, the Driver, where are we going today?"

I say, "Are you pretending your truck is named Larry?"

J answers, "No, mama.  I am pretending you are Larry, the Driver."

Crap fire and save the matches! My kid thinks I'm manish! What's that deal?!

Okay, let me get this straight.  I got punched in the face, told I look bad AND now I am a guy named Larry.  And all of this took place before 11am.  

Lovely.

It's a good thing I'm not thin skinned.

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

39 comments:

  1. I'm totally going to use that line
    "welcome to my world! punch world!" on someone this week :). I wonder how the night ended?

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    1. "Punch world!" My little dudes are hilarious. As a mom, you have to keep your sense of humor. For real!
      The night ended peacefully..once I finally had my 19 month old to bed at midnight. (Molars!). *Sigh.* Just got to roll with the punches! ;)
      Thanks for visiting!

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  2. Bwahahahahaha! Your little man is so funny! My kid just commented on the mole on my face and said she thought it was a little bug. Nice:)

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    1. Thanks! My little dude is a crack-up. Kids - you gotta love their honesty...or not. ;)
      Thanks for visiting!

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  3. My son once told me, "Mom, you're not THAT chubby."

    That once was yesterday. While I was cramming a PB&J into my mouth and driving him to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Why? Because I had missed lunch taking care of my children and by 5:30, I was darn hungry.

    Stinker...

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    1. Oh dear! Stinker indeed!
      I can relate to those crazy days. I seem to have quite a few of them myself...
      Thanks for visiting! :)

      Delete
  4. LOL! I refuse to use "welcome to my world. Punch world." despite all it's awesomeness because I know my son would immediately adopt it and NEVER EVER stop! But it's hilarious when it's your kid! :-)

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    1. :) It IS hilarious but we can't have him going around punching people in the face. Can you imagine? I wonder what joys preschool will hold for me this fall...
      Good to *see* you again!

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  5. Mornings like that make me want to pull the covers over my head and sleep just another hour but since I can't I power through till nap time!

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    1. Tammi, nap time! My life preserver in these rough waters. Only, J (3) rarely takes naps anymore, but I do make him have 30 minutes of quiet time. Trust me. It is in EVERYONE'S best interest. ;)
      Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  6. My youngest boy once proudly announced I had the biggest tummy in the family. They all have a thing or two to learn about positive re-enforcement.

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    1. Sadly, I can relate to the tummy comment. J (3) has said something similar to me before. *Sigh.* What can you do? Just gotta keep your sense of humor!
      Thanks for visiting! ;)

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  7. Oh, this is just priceless!! Love it!!

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    1. Michelle, it is priceless. The things this kid says cracks me up.
      Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  8. This is hilarious. We've had so many days like this: starting out all relaxed and peaceful and by 11 am you wonder what the heck went wrong...
    I am afraid there won't be any world domination at that pace ;)

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    1. Touche, Kerstin. Touche. ;)
      I won't let this deter me from my grand plan of world domination! ;)

      Delete
  9. LOL!

    I love your describing, "We are off like a herd of turtles!"

    Hilarious.

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    1. Thanks Pippi! "Herd of turtles" about sums it up. Takes us forever to get out the door and get going. ;)

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  10. Where do they learn that stuff? I totally sympathize with the stifling of a laugh while trying to teach the serious lesson. Ha. This is my near future when the little bit gets past "da."

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    1. Get ready! Oh the things they will say. You'll have to keep a journal of all of the things they say and look back on it one day. Hilarious!
      Thanks for visiting!

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  11. Funny! My kids love to wobble my belly. And I may not be thin skinned, but I'm definitely big boned. ;)

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    1. Kristin, kids have no internal filter. What can you do?! ;)
      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  12. Hilarious! My almost five year old said to me
    "You're pretty Mummy" and, touched, I reply "Thank you baby". And he adds "And you're an alien".

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    1. Bridgette, well at least you are a pretty alien. ;)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  13. HAPPY SITS DAY....aren't kids just so grand...I love their honesty and innocence.

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  14. "crap fire and save the matches"... I just literally laughed out loud so hard that I may or may not have woken my baby. oops! Totally worth it. Love you blog!

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  15. {Melinda} Oh, my ... let me just tell you, this is excellent practice and desensitizing for when your kids are teenagers. Trust me.

    Happy SITS DAy!

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  16. Oh dear!! My girls are so nice and sweet. my boys--well---I'm waiting for these kinds of things. Won't be long now!!

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  17. Our babies just have a way to make us feel so good about ourselves, don't they? Happy SITS day!

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  18. Hee hee! Sounds like a typical day in motherhood! Makes me scared for the teen years!

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  19. Ahhh ... such is the life with young boys. I have 2 myself and oh I appreciate their physical nature and candor. You gotta love them. Happy SITS Day!

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  20. But it started off well. Remember those first few moments and let the rest go.

    Yeah, our kids say the least censored things. Unfortunately they don't completely outgrow it. My son is 15 and sometimes still says things that make his sisters stare in amazement and then chew him out for being rude -- and he has no clue what he did wrong.

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  21. This post is unreal: You had five whole minutes of quiet time first thing in the morning?! I am sooo jealous.

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  22. I think my girls are really your boys, in girl form. Except, instead of waking up to a face punch once, I got a finger up my nose so far I'm pretty sure she hit my brain. Someday, we'll miss this, right? ;) Stopping in from SITS! Happy Day!

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  23. Kids are adorable, they make it all worthwhile with their crazy cuteness.

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  24. I have 4 kids and have been assaulted and dissed a number of times! Stand your ground, girl! Happy SITS day ;)

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  25. Quite the imagination your little man has I would say ;). Happy belated SITS day.

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  26. kids say some pretty geat things! My students say funny stuff all the time! Yesterday i had a student who counted using his fingers AND TOES! It was adorable! The best part was that he counted through his shoes! :)

    Happy sits day!
    -Simone

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  27. Kids, they say the craziest things no? From your pic, I have to say you do not look like a Larry :)

    Happy SITS day!

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Thanks for reading and commenting!