February: What do mean it's not working out?
Me: It's you, not me.
February: Are you breaking up with me?!
Me: I think we should see other people.
February: What about Valentine's Day?!
Me: I'm married with kids. Valentine's Day is dead to me.
February: There's...President's Day.
Me: Really? You're going with that?
February: You can always count on great furniture sales!
Me: *Runs hand down face.* Look. We're done.
February: Come on. You don't mean it!
Me: The snow. The ice. The cold. I'm over it. I'm SO over it.
Me: I'm going to start seeing April.
February: APRIL?! That moody wench?! She could be warm or she could make it snow Easter Sunday.
Me: Fine. I'll start seeing May. That is a safe, warm bet.
February: That's cold.
Me: No, you are.
February: That hurts.