Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A Conversation With February

Me: Look. It's not working out.

February: What do mean it's not working out?

Me: It's you, not me.

February: Are you breaking up with me?!

Me: I think we should see other people.

February: What about Valentine's Day?!

Me: I'm married with kids. Valentine's Day is dead to me.

February: There's...President's Day.

Me: Really? You're going with that?

February: You can always count on great furniture sales!

Me: *Runs hand down face.* Look. We're done.

February: Come on. You don't mean it!

Me: The snow. The ice. The cold. I'm over it. I'm SO over it.

February: But-

Me: I'm going to start seeing April.

February: APRIL?! That moody wench?! She could be warm or she could make it snow Easter Sunday.

Me: Fine. I'll start seeing May. That is a safe, warm bet.

February: That's cold.

Me: No, you are.

February: That hurts.

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