Have you ever had a conversation with someone and afterwards you wondered what the heck you were even talking about?
Maybe they kept hopping from topic to topic?
Maybe they were mispronouncing words?
Maybe they spoke in catchphrases?
Enter a conversation with my dad.
Let me first preface this by saying I love my dad.
He is funny (dad jokes for DAYS), sensitive (cries at movies) and friendly (talks to everyone like they are old friends).
But talking to him on the phone can drive a person insane.
If they weren't already.
But *ahem* we aren't talking about me.
Anyway, here is how our conversation went the other day.
*Ring, ring.*
Me: Hello.
Dad: Hey, Shelly!
Me: Hi Dad. How are you?
Dad: Oh, you know. We're hanging in there. Making do. How are you and the boys?
Me: We're good. Just figuring out our new normal for right now. How to work from home and school from home.
Dad: *Chuckles.* Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Me: What have you been up to?
Dad: Well, I've been looking into some things. Trying to figure some things out. Doing a little research.
Me: Have you called an electrician to take a look at your stove?
Dad: No, we've been kind of busy with a few things but it's on my to do list.
Me: How about your groceries? Do you guys have enough supplies?
Dad: We're getting by. I'll open the fridge and see what we've got and throw some things together.
Me: So you're good for supplies then?
Dad: We're making it work. Putting things together. A little of this, a little of that.
Dad: So Shelly, have you seen anything good on Netflix lately? (Side note: My dad is the only person who can call me Shelly and get away with it. Don't. Even. Think. About. It.)
Me: Yeah. I watched The Witcher and the boys and I watched Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library. It was pretty cute. What about you?
Dad: Well, we watched this movie the other night about a secret agent, or maybe a detective. He had to fight the bad guys and figure the mystery out. He had a partner. Oh, I forget the name. Do you know which one I'm talking about?
Me: Um, no, Dad. I'm not sure. Sounds good. (As he has literally described the plot to about 80% of all movies in the history of movies.)
Dad: Thanks again for bringing over the groceries. You really didn't have to do that.
Me: No problem, Dad. I'm happy to do it.
Dad: But, um, Shelly, what was in that bowl you gave me?
Me: Dad, it is taco soup.
Dad: Oh, okay. What's in it?
Me: Uh, taco soup.
Dad: *Chuckles.* Oh, okay, smarty pants. I'll put you on my list. I'll remember that.
Me: *Laughing.* I think you'll like it. I had several bowls.
Me: Anything else going on?
Dad: Well, I have been going online trying to figure this thing out. The insurance company screwed things up. *Sighs.* It's a LONG story.
Me: Um, are you talking about your car insurance?
Dad: Yes. I've been trying to to get things right and I finally got a hold of them. But they said they just - ah - *sigh*. I had to go online and dig and dig and dig. Now, I'm trying to get things straightened out. *Sighs again.* It's just a LONG story. (Side note: EVERYTHING with my dad is a long story. If he ever said it was a short story, my heart would stop from the shock.)
Me: That sounds rough. (Because I am not really sure what he is saying and it sounds like the right response.)
Dad: *Sighs one more time.* You have no idea. (Said very dramatically.)
Me: Dad, have you finished wiping everything down? Making sure to Clorox all handles, light switches, counter tops, door knobs and remotes?
Dad: We're working on it. We've almost got it done. We're getting there. (Side note: We are FOUR weeks into quarantine and my dad lives in a TWO bedroom duplex. *Blinks.* )
*Yelling in the background.*
Me: Dad, that's my cue! I'm going to have to go. I'll talk to you later.
Dad: Okay. Talk to you later. Love you!
Me: Love you! Bye.
See what I mean?!?!?
WHAT EVEN HAPPENED?!
What was our conversation even about?!
No one knows.
I guess it's a long story.
A few weeks ago, I came across several tweets on my Twitter feed of people in Australia who were buying up all of the toilet paper. Like all of it everywhere. In their entire country.
*Blinks.*
So at first, I laugh this off.
*Snort.*
This is so crazy! Why are they taking all of the toilet paper?! Bad bowels isn't even one of the symptoms of the Coronavirus. Are they worried they will get hit with a bad case of the squirts?
*Chuckles.*
That is just insane. I mean of ALL of the things to be worried about.
TP is at the top of your list?
*Laughs loud. Laughs quieter. Sighs. Clears throat.*
But then I started thinking, do the Australians know something that I don't know?! Like there is a TP Apocalypse on the horizon? Are they privy to some highly classified information that we Americans don't know?!
So I did the only reasonable thing.
Okay.
Maybe it wasn't the reasonable thing. But it helped to calm my anxiety, so let's just go with that.
I went and bought a ton of TP.
I mean, I am not going to be the only person out there with no TP!
However I do remember learning from one my of my kids' TV shows that if there are "leaves of three, let it be". So if I need to go searching for leaves outside, I can make sure and not get the itchy ones. Thanks, PBS.
I am what marketing folks would call "highly suggestible".
If I see someone buying a cute pink short at Loft, then I maybe I need to try on that shirt.
If you order a burger and fries, well that sounds WAY better than what I was going to order so I'll get that too.
If you are buying up all of the TP, then I am going to be buying all the TP.
So when I was at Kroger the other day, grabbing some supplies to hole up inside for a couple of days, I made sure to get some TP.
And as I was walking through the aisles, I grabbed some things I may need.
Here's the thing: If you are a certified "wigster" like myself (i.e. someone who wigs out a lot) and someone who is highly suggestible, then when something like the Coronavirus goes down, You, Lose. Your. Mind.
Plodding through the frozen food aisle, I look at all of the frozen meat and wonder, "Do I need 47 chicken breasts?" "How many are enough chicken breasts?" "MAYBE I NEED 47 CHICKEN BREASTS!"
Into the cart they go.
Strolling by to grab some butter, I see some buttermilk. "Do I need buttermilk?" What if I want to make some biscuits and I HAVE NO BUTTERMILK?!"
MAYBE I DO NEED BUTTERMILK!
Yeah, that went into the cart too.
Walking by the cheese section, honestly, I can't even tell you what happened. I think I just blacked out and $50 later, I went on my merry way.
I am just not sure what I will need. I don't want to be caught without things I need.
After I get home, I call my mom to tell her about my shopping experience.
In summary, she is laughing at me and keeps asking me "Why did you get the buttermilk? When was the last time you made biscuits?"
Look, I don't remember when the last time I made biscuits, or if I ever have. But who knows?! I might need it. What if I have an overwhelming desire to make mouth watering biscuits.
Better to be safe.
Let this be a cautionary tale.
Do not be like me and be easily talked into buying things that you don't need. Be reasonable. Think about things you will actually need. Take a reasonable amount.
Except for the buttermilk.
Don't forget the buttermilk.
Time is a tricky thing. Is it not?
While you are in it, it seems to move at a turtle's pace. Or you are wishing it away for the weekend or a vacation or a holiday.
When you stop to look back, it seems to speed up at light speed, making you wonder how it went by so quickly.
In hindsight, you can see all of the things that that you could have done differently or things that would have worked out if you were brave enough to do x, y or z.
When we do this, we can often get wrapped up in "shoulds", "coulds" or "woulds". We can start to doubt ourselves or beat ourselves up for things we did or didn't do.
The thing is...it's okay.
It's okay that things didn't go the way you thought they would.
It's okay that you were scared to try something new.
It's okay that you were brave and tried something new, only for it to blow up in your face.
It's okay that you got your feelings hurt or your heart broken.
*Stay with me. I'm bringing it back around.*
It's okay because look where you are today.
Look at who you are today.
These experiences that time has taught us - the good and the bad - have made us who we are meant to be. It has helped shape our character and our own story. It has helped us to be stronger versions of ourselves.
This is what I try to remind myself when time has not been the kindest to me.
That I am stronger for the bad or sad things that happen.
That I can use my own failures to help someone else along their life journey.
That I am staring time in the face and I am not afraid.
This post has been a long time coming. Lots of things have changed in these past two years. Some good. Some bad. Some amazing. Some sad.
But I find myself here. And I'm okay.
I'm better than I have been in a long time.
And I can look back and say with confidence that "it's okay".
Time is a tricky thing.
