*Alarm goes off. Hits snooze.*
*Alarm goes off again. Stumbles out of bed. Heads downstairs.*
*Turns on coffee maker.*
Jack Frost: Morning!
Me: *Yawns.* Hey.
Jack Frost: Ready for the day?
Me: *Reaches for coffee mug.* Ready as I'll ever be.
Jack Frost: Yeah, I know it can be hard to get yourself going in the winter.
Allergies: *Snort.* Winter?! It's 50 degrees outside.
Me: *Starts. Chokes on coffee.* What are you doing here?
Allergies: What am I doing here? I'm ALWAYS here.
Jack Frost: Yeah. Like a bad rash. You won't go away.
Allergies: You're one to talk, Mr. Nobody Is As Cool As Me.
Jack Frost: Well, they aren't.
Me: *Looks between the two.* Why are you both here?
Allergies: ...
Jack Frost: ...
Me: *Rubs temples.* I mean what are you doing here at the same time?
Jack Frost: It's February. It's traditionally part of winter. Maybe you learned about it kindergarten?
Me: Hilarious.
Jack Frost: I know. I'm a riot.
Me: *Looks to Allergies.* And you?
Allergies: It's 50 degrees.
Me: So?
Allergies: *Eye roll.* 50 degrees is Springtime weather. Time for things to grow and blossom. Maybe you've heard of the four seasons?
Me: But it's February.
Jack Frost: EXACTLY. I could make it snow and freeze anytime I want. Then your precious blooms would be toast.
Allergies: You can try. But I don't scare easily.
Me: *Sips coffee.* That's a good point. Why hasn't it been very cold? What have you been up to, Jack?
Jack Frost: I've been busy.
Me: Doing what?
Allergies: *Crosses arms.* This ought to be good.
Jack Frost: *Rubs back of the neck.* Well, the thing is... around Christmastime I was bored so I signed up for Netflix. I started watching The Walking Dead, then Supernatural. Then, the Easter Bunny told me about Pokemon Go and -
Me: THAT is why we haven't had much of a winter?!
Allergies: *Throws hands up in the air.* Unbelievable. You do not take your job seriously. I, on the other hand, am completely dedicated to the job. I work 24/7.
Jack Frost: Oh please. Get off your high horse. Nobody likes you.
Allergies: You are just jealous because I always win 'Employee of the Month' Award. You don't even work a full year!
Jack Frost: You are just mad because everyone loves me. They love sledding, snow ball fights, building snowmen. Everyone prays for a snow day.
Allergies: Do they also love freezing their as-
Me: Whoa, whoa! Let's all just calm down.
Jack Frost: *Glares at Allergies.*
Allergies: *Glares at Jack Frost.*
Me: *Pinches the bridge of nose.* Listen up, it is too early in the morning to deal with this crap. I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee!
Jack Frost : *Blushes.*
Allergies: *Hangs head.*
Me: Look. Jack, take a break from Netflix. And Pokemon Go. You have a job to do and you need to get to it. You only have a few weeks left, You can do it.
Jack Frost: You're right! I have been slacking on the job. I'm going to get back to it right away.
Me: And Allergies, why don't you take a break? You deserve a vacation! Seriously! When was the last time you took a vacation? You could go to Universal Studios and see Jurassic Park. I know you have a thing for T-Rexes. C'mon. What do you say?
Allergies: I do love me some dinosaurs...
Me: *Claps.* Excellent! Now, get the heck out of my kitchen so I can enjoy my coffee in piece. And if I see you both again at the same time, I'm going to totally Hulk out on you.
