That One Time I Stole A Hand Towel From Target

Okay.

Here's the deal.

I did not steal the hand towel on purpose. It was an accident.

It happened accidentally.

I'm not a stealer.  I don't go around stealing things because that would be wrong.

One day about two years ago, I thought it might be a good idea to go shopping with my then 15 month old and my three year old.

Why are you laughing?

Anyway, I had a plan. I would take both boys into Target, get them each an Icee and never let them out of the cart. 

Sounds like a solid plan, right?

WRONG, KEMOSABE.

See, what I did not factor in to my fantastic plan was that my three year old was recently potty trained and I was really, really, exhausted.

Two kids twenty two months apart = One tired mommy. (Math majors, step off. It doesn't look like most math equations but it's definitely real math.)

So, the trip started innocently enough with the littlest in the front seat of the cart and the biggest in the back of the cart.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly. They each had their Icee which kept them quiet and entertained so I could look around for a few minutes. I grabbed a few things I needed and everyone was keeping it cool.

Then, I made the mistake of strolling over to the towel aisle.

While looking at the price of a few towels, my youngest took the opportunity to snatch some hand towels closest to him and throw them in the cart. My oldest saw what was happening, thought this was a genius idea and decided to join in the fun.

It's like they have mob mentality. One of them does something and no matter how crazy or asinine, the other one is like THIS IS AN AWESOME IDEA. Both of them start in on it and it takes forever to get them to stop.

So, I abandon my hopes of finding towels that day and scramble to get all of the towels out of the cart and back on the shelf in some semblance of order while getting the cart far enough out of arms reach.

However, these little suckers are fast so this game of "Where Do The Towels Go?" ensues for quite a few minutes before mom emerges the victor.

That's right. Winner = Mom.

I finally make it to the front and check the cart to make sure there isn't anything hidden away in there. 

This isn't my first rodeo. My littlest has sticky fingers and past experience has taught me to check every square inch of the cart before checking out at a certain grocery store which shall remain nameless.

Ahem.

So, we check out, I get the kids in the car with both of them crabby as it is now nap time and also time for the biggest to go another round of visiting the potty. I get the bags put in the car, then I realize there is a hand towel on the tray underneath the cart. The flipping tray UNDERNEATH the cart.

Standing there with the towel in my hand, I look to Target and realize I need to return this because I didn't pay for it. 

I glance back at my car and see my crying kids inside and think about how it would be for me to get them back out of their car seats, into the shopping cart, go back inside to return the towel, walk back to the car, strap the kids in the car and put the cart back, all the while the kids would be crying and cranky.

Sigh.

So, I admittedly threw the towel in the car, drove off and decided I would be sure to spend twice as much at Target next time to make up for it. (Don't judge me, Judgy McJudgy Pants.)

Moral of the Story: Don't go shopping with your kids. But if you do, always check the cart for miscellaneous items. And also the flipping tray UNDERNEATH the cart.

This has been a public service announcement.