I'm In Training

Bet you didn't know I'm in training?

*Looks around. Whispers.* I didn't know it either.

Wait! Don't go anywhere! Yes, I am a bit crazy...okay fine! I'm a lot crazy but hear me out.

You see, everyday, I give it my all. I strive for 100%. My daily regime may give even the most disciplined athlete pause. I want to be the best - the fastest actually.

If you are a parent, chances are you are also in training to be the fastest.

"But Michelle," you say, "the fastest at what?"

In short, the fastest at EVERYTHING.

Each day, I train diligently to be the best at:

• World's Fastest Bather
• World's Fastest Eater
• World's Fastest Drinker
• World's Fastest Nose Blower
• World's Fastest Shoe Tie-er
• World's Fastest Pooper
• World's Fastest Pee-er
• World's Fastest Writer
• World's Fastest Reader
• World's Fastest Shopper
• World's Fastest Dresser
• World's Fastest Cleaner
• World's Fastest Bill Payer
• World's Fastest Diaper Changer
• World's Fastest Dishwasher
• World's Fastest Teethbrusher

I know. It is an extensive list and you marvel at my commitment and dedication to such an extreme goal of being the fastest at almost everything.

And, I'm sure many of you out there would be excellent competitors for the title of "World's Fastest".

But, just so you know, you will be going up against who takes this very seriously. (It took me 48 seconds to write this post. *Shirt pop.*)