Saturday, September 29, 2012

No I'm Not A Drug Dealer


Those of you that follow me on Twitter may have noticed my whining mentioning my boys were sick this week.

Little J (3.5) gets sick on Monday night with 103 temperature, chills, cough, and runny nose.  Visit to the doctor tells me what I already feared - the ambiguous "virus". Baby L (1.5) follows closely behind with a 103 temperature of his own Thursday morning.

My poor little guys!  There is nothing worse than sick kids.  Am I right or am I right?!

You can just tell by looking at them that they feeling sick. The eyes give it away. You wish you could take the pain away but all you can do is treat the symptoms. Totally breaks my heart. *Sniff.* (See you thought I was such a bad a. When I cut, I bleed too, people!)

The boys will be going along playing like usual, then they start to droop.  You know immediately when their fever spikes because they start to wilt just like a flower.

Your normally self-sufficient kid becomes whiny, clingy and needy (or your normally whiny kid becomes whinier).  *Ahem.* They don't sleep well.  They don't eat well. They are fussy about everything.

And the drama! People tell me, "Be glad you have boys so you don't have to worry about the drama!" Uh, have you met my boys?! They would give the Academy Awards a run for their money.

Never in your life have you felt like you have ever been so wanted or desired. 

"Mama?" 

"Mama!" 

"MAMA!!!!!"

I kept the boys in the house most of the week.  J missed preschool on Tuesday since he had a fever and looked so awful. We stayed holed up in the house all week long, keeping our germs to ourselves until today.

I had to get out.

And go where, you ask?

Isn't it obvious?!

The Library!! 

I had some new books that had arrived on hold and several items that needed to go back, lest I incur a late fee. (Quelle Horreur!)

So after quickly dressing my kids and myself, we all pile in the car.  Since everyone slept late and they haven't been really eating anything anyway, I decide to grab them some powdered donuts for breakfast. (THIS I know they will eat!)

While I am driving and sipping my coffee in the front seat, the boys are mealing on the powdered donuts in the backseat.  They yell out, "Mama!", when they want a donut, then I hand one to them. They tear into that donut like Mr. Peepers eating an apple.

I'm finally relaxing a little (which is saying something because if you have ever driven in Lexington traffic you know it is "crazytown"). I have my coffee. They boys are sitting back there, contained and quiet for the moment. *Sigh.* It's nice.

After pulling into a parking lot at the library, I tell both boys we are only going inside to pick up mommy's books.  I tell them there will be no playing in the kids area today because they are sick.

After my informative speech to the masses, I get out of the car, walk around to J's side and open the door.

His mouth, shirt, hands, and pants are covered in powdered sugar. He smiles at me with little pieces of donuts in-between his teeth because he is so happy having just had some.  I get him out of the car and dust him off the best I can, then I go to get Baby L out of his seat.  He is worse shape, if that's possible, because there is powdered sugar in his hair.

As for me, my hair is a hot mess as I have not even bothered to brush it or put it in a ponytail.  I can't even remember if I brushed my teeth. I have on one of Jeff's shirts and a pair of leggings.  My face is impassive as I focus on getting to the "books on hold" section as quickly as possible, then getting the heck out.

Yikes.  I don't think I thought this through.  All of us have blood shot eyes because we are tired and the boys don't feel well. Both have powdered sugar on their mouths and clothes. Both boys are clinging on to me saying, "Mommy please!"

I have a sudden realization that I look like a drug dealer and my kids looks like little crack addicts.  Me, looking like I am indifferent to their pleading and pulling. The boys, clinging to me begging for more (really begging to go into the kid's area). 

Holy canole!  Of all the looks I was going for, this was definitely not in my top ten.

And to answer your question, no I'm not a drug dealer.  (In fact, I've never even done drugs.  If you must know, I'm a goody two shoes. So there.)  Drugs are not my thing.

Now bacon...well...  If you are in need of some bacon, I might be able to locate some for you. For the right price...

Disclaimer: Before you start sending me hate mail, please know that I take drug addiction very seriously. People very close to me are currently battling with drug addiction. My heart goes out to those who are trying to beat a drug, alcohol or any type of harmful addiction. 

I am not advocating the use of illegal drugs.  I think using illegal drugs are harmful to oneself, not to mention breaking the law - which I am also not an advocate of.

Unless bacon is outlawed. Then I might have to break the law.

Kidding. Kidding. (Well mostly.)

11 comments:

  1. ROFL!!

    I once killed time in a Target wandering around telling silly stories to the toddler while picking up candy to fill a care package to my brother in the Navy. Got home & realized I was having an allergic reaction to a new eyeliner - HOLY BLOODSHOT EYES!! No WONDER the cashier spoke so loud and slow ;-)

    Hope the boys are feeling better!

    (And if they ever threaten the legality of smoked pork products, I'm SOOOO there. Fighting.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it funny that you spend so much time looking in the mirror before kids and after kids you are thinking, "Did I put a bra on?" :)
      Thanks for stopping by!
      PS If there is ever a ban on bacon, you and I are teaming up.

      Delete
  2. oh this is great babe...cracking up. We've all been there babe (HUGS)

    Hope your boys are feeling better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mama! It's crazy how life plays out some times, isn't it? Maybe this just means I need to look in the mirror more to ensure I don't look like a crackhead...

      Delete
  3. I'm with you on the bacon thing! We should talk.

    And boys (young and old) are the worst when it comes to getting sick. Talk about drama!

    I hope everyone's feeling better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bacon lovers unite! When you mess with my bacon, it's like messing with my emotions!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

      Delete
  4. Ha! How funny! I'm there with you. Having sick kids is no fun. Unfortunately I'm the one sick today. And I promised my kids that we would make an apple pie with the apples we picked yesterday. They are not too happy about our apple pie baking having to wait...

    Visiting from SITS. Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you are feeling better and got to make that apple pie. Sounds yummy!
      Thanks for visiting! :)

      Delete
  5. My first thought when you said you handed them doughnuts was 'didn't it get EVERYWHERE'????? Yep! I love how you didn't even think abotu what you looked like until you started to head into the library!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the donuts did get everywhere but honestly, I didn't even care bc they were quiet. I only started to care once I realized we looked like derelicts....
      Thanks for visiting! :)

      Delete
  6. I coulԁn't resist commenting. Perfectly written!
    Here is my web site - 888 Poker Promotions

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading and commenting!