Go The Flip To Sleep

 A baby is in there somewhere...

I love my sleep. In the past, there was nothing I loved more than snuggling in my comfy bed with my soft pillows and cozy blankets. I could sleep for 10 -12 hours at a time.

When we were first married, if we woke up early on the weekends, we would go back to sleep. Sometimes we would even eat breakfast, then head back to bed for a catnap. Awesomesauce.

Yep, Sleep and I were BFF's.

After kids, sleep and I don't talk very much any more. I don't have the luxury of sleeping late.  And if I get to sleep six consecutive hours, I feel like I stole something!

Now my children, well, apparently they don't feel the same way about sleep as I do. Every night there's bedtime drama. And when I say every night, I mean EVERY NIGHT.

The boys have the same routine every night.  There are no surprises.  We have tubby time, get into pajamas, watch Kipper, brush our teeth, L (21 months) goes to bed first, followed right behind with J (3 years).  

Both boys are read two stories. We talk about our day and what they did that day to make us proud. We say prayers, then kisses/hugs good night.

Boom. Done. I'm out.  Mama's off duty. Mama turns into a pumpkin at 9:00p.m. Don't come looking for mommy because she isn't here.

Except well...it NEVER GOES THAT SIMPLY.

With sweet baby L, he starts to cry and puts his hands over his little face when I start saying prayers.  Is this because he is devil spawn?  Nope.  It's because this little guy knows that when it's prayer time that he will be going to bed.  He would continue crying up to 15 minutes after I'd put him to bed.  

One day, I wised up and started giving him a board book to take to bed. 

BOOM. No more crying. One problem down, one to go.

Now, J has his own separate drama. Since he has not been confined to a crib for over a year, he can just get up anytime.  But before I have even left the room, he starts trying to bargain.

"Mama, just one more story."

"Listen, mama, listen.  Just stay in here for one more minute."

"Mama, I love you." *Cuddle* "Please stay in here with me."

"Mama, your my best friend." *Hug and kiss.* "Just one more story."

I'm strong folks but I'm only human!!  Admittedly, these last two sucker me in for about 10 more minutes or so.

Then, I am ready.  It's time for J to go to sleep.  So I do what most parents do when they are trying to get their kid to stay in bed, bribery.

I say stuff like, "You can pick where you want to go for breakfast tomorrow if you stay in your room."  Or "If you come out of your room, no Kipper tomorrow."

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

In the time it takes me to walk back to my room, climb in my bed and get comfy, J walks in with one of his many excuses.

"Mama, I'm scared."

"Mama, I'm lonely,"

"Mama, I can't find my blankie (which he hid in his room so I'd have to find it). I can't sleep without big blankie!"

(Carrying a closed box of tissues) "Mama, we have to open this Kleenex box."

"Mama, there are spiders in my room."

(Carrying the tiniest piece of paper visible to the naked eye) "Mama, we have to throw this piece of paper away."

Cheese and biscuits, baby!!!  I love your guts but you are driving me crazy!!

What once started out as a nice, calm, relaxing process ends with me trying to control my temper and failing miserably. *Sigh.*  I can hang with these sweet boys all day long but when it's nighttime it is time to "Go The Flip To Sleep"!