Friday, August 15, 2014

Just Living The Dream


When I'm out-and-about and people ask me how I'm doing, I usually respond, "Just living the dream."

You can usually tell a lot about people by their reaction to my response.

Some will chuckle and reply, "Me too." Or "I know, right!" This is a good indicator that these people have a sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously.

Others will purse their lips as if they swallowed something sour and give me a look that says, "Clearly that was not funny at all." This is a good indicator that these people do NOT have a sense of humor.

Okay.

So, when I answer, I sometimes say it with a little snarkiness. (Okay, a lot of snarkiness!) Or maybe some sassiness.

But here's the thing.

I AM living the dream.

At least, it's my dream.

For the longest time, I prayed God would send me an honorable, hard-working, kind, funny man to share my life with.

For what seemed like forever, I prayed I would be able to get pregnant and have children of my own who were the best parts of me and my husband.

And now I have that.

I have a great husband and two amazing kids. I am able to stay-at-home with my boys for the first years of their life. I live in my dream home. I am more than blessed.

Yep, just living the dream.

WAIT! 

Don't go anywhere!!

Not everything is unicorns and rainbows. I don't float around with a trail of glitter in my wake. I'm not going to bust out into song or anything.

Because I still have lots of days of uncertainty, self-doubt and mommy guilt. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder if I could have been a better mom, wife, daughter or friend. My old nemesis anxiety tries to climb back into bed with me.

But here's the thing.

When I find myself having some of these thoughts, I remind myself of my many wonderful blessings. I remind myself I have the love of my amazing, little family. I remind myself that tomorrow is another day to be the best version of myself I can be.

Because even on my worst day, I have more blessings than I can count and definitely more than I deserve.

It sure helps put things into perspective.

So, yeah. 

I'm just living the dream.

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